It’s been nearly two weeks since I stepped foot off the last step
and into Tempe Town Lake to take part in my first Ironman and I think I have
all of my thoughts collected (enough so to create what may very well be the
longest blog entry in MerLessons history).
So, hold on to your hats my friends, this should be epic!
For years, Anne, Loretta and I would gather around Anne’s
television the weekend of my birthday to watch the IM World Championship in
Kona, Hawaii. The tissues would come out
and for two hours we would sit silent, as we watched the world’s greatest athletes
compete for 8, 9, 10,… 17 hours. Four
years ago, Loretta looked at me and said, “So, Mer, do you think you’ll even do
an Ironman?” I thought she was nuts – I even
gave her “Mer-Face” – which all of my loved ones know well. Well, Loretta – who would have thought I
would be sitting at my laptop today blogging about the Ironman I completed the
weekend of my 42 birthday, in Tempe, Arizona?!
Shortly after the conversation in Anne’s living room, my
work colleagues and I decided to start training for our first triathlon – a sprint
distance (750 meter swim, 12 mile ride and 5K run). It seemed impossible at the time, but we
trained together and became triathletes, together.
The sport didn’t stick for everyone on the work-team, but I
had found my new calling. The days of
the marathon seemed in the past – I had a new focus, a new love. The Sprint distance was replaced by the
International distance (1500 meter swim, 25 mile ride, 10K run). And, in 2013, training for the International
distance was replaced by training for the 70.3, or Half Ironman, in Oceanside
California. I completed two Half IM
distances in 2014 – helping me gain confidence for what I knew lie ahead.
The weeks prior to Ironman Arizona were filled with some of
the longest, hardest workouts of my life. I would leave the house at 5am and not return
until after lunchtime for several weekends in a row. Coach Diane would promise me that all of the
long, hard work would pay off. The swim
workouts seemed the most painful – over an hour and a half in the pool going
back and forth and back and forth. Those
4000 meter swims made me better appreciate the time on the bike and on
foot.
I did a lot of my training with another work colleague,
Johnny B. I cannot thank him enough for
all of the positive energy and kind words.
Pushing out 50-60-70 miles and then running around Tempe Town Lake in 95
degree heat – I simply do not think I could have done it without his support
and encouragement. In the end, those
50-60-70 mile rides, turned into 80-90-100 milers. My body was becoming used to the length and
the discomfort.
By IMAZ race week, I began dreaming about the race – things like
forgetting my goggles or my helmet were routinely part of my sleep-hours. Some nights I wouldn’t sleep at all, thinking
about the race and what might go wrong.
But, on my birthday, 2014, Matt took me down to Tempe Town Lake to do one last small workout – the open water swim. Coach told me that it would help me get my head in the game and help me adjust to the conditions of the water on race morning. She was right. I swam a few hundred meters with a thousand other athletes and got out of the water in a fantastic and “ready” mood.
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| Letting Coach know I made it out of the Open Water swim |
I dropped off all of my gear bags and my bike that afternoon
– and then came home to rest and eat. Amazingly, I slept well that night. All of the pent up anxiety I felt must have exhausted my body because Matt says I was asleep before 8pm. My alarm went off at 3:30am, and I got up quietly to eat a bagel – just as coach had ordered.
By 4am, Matt was up and asking what I needed. “Nothing,” – everything was done. I just needed to get myself to Transition by
5:30am to meet Coach and get myself ready for the race. And so Matt loaded his bike into the back of
the truck and drove me to the start.
It was chaos.
CHAOS! There were athletes,
family members and friends everywhere.
Thousands and thousands of people.
You could barely see for all the people (and the fact that I am so damn
short). I kissed Matt goodbye and made
my way to transition to find Coach.
There she was, standing by my bike – just waiting for me. Immediately, she took me by the arm and led
me to drop off my Special Needs bags, then to Body Marking, then back to my
bike. I told her I would find her again soon,
but wanted to get my phone back to Matt and allow him to find his spot to watch
the swim start.
Finding Matt was even more chaotic. By then there were double the number of
people around the lake and my heart was going 1000 miles/minute. I ate another bagel in transition and then a
Honey Stinger Waffle 30 minutes before race start – coach’s rules. I handed off my phone to Matt and, through
watery eyes, I told him I would be ok and that I would see him again in a
couple hours. We both knew that he’d
never see me start the swim – so the best we could hope for was to catch me as
I ran out of the water.
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| Sun rise and swim start |
Wetsuit on – I began to shake. The fear was insurmountable. I kept thinking, “am I ready? Am I prepared? WHAT THE F**K AM I DOING WITH
ALL THESE REAL ATHETES?” And, as I stood there amidst the sea of athletes
waiting to get into the water, I started to cry. I was so scared and so alone. The guy next to me said, “it’s your first?”
to which I nodded. “Enjoy it – you did
all the training. Make this your day.” I smiled and wiped away the tears of fear and
just got into a zone.
Before I knew it, the horn went off for the elite athletes
and the line to hop into the water began to move….swiftly. As I approached the stairs down into the
water, the woman in front of me hesitated.
I was so relieved – but before I knew it, she was in the water and it was
do or die, and so I jumped in.
There were 200 meters between the steps into the water and
the starting line; so, I had a good 12-13 minutes to get rid of my anxiety and maneuver
toward the start. I THOUGHT I was going
to be in the back of the mix of 2500 athletes, but 3 minutes before the
starting horn blew, I could see hundreds of athletes still hopping into the water,
200 meters behind me. And, so I resolved
to swim and hope for the best.
I actually have no recollection of the horn blowing – I remember
10-9-8-7… and then it was like the seas parted and we were all swimming. I spent the first several hundred meters
telling myself I was ok and that I had done 2 ½ miles of swimming many times already.
There were arms and feet everywhere. Within 500 meters, a guy kicked super hard and dislocated my ring finger on my right hand. I could feel it jammed and pulled it out as quickly as possible. The pain was awful at first, but after opening and closing my fist a dozen times, I simply resolved to continue without letting it get the better of me. As we came around the first large buoy, there was a sense of relief, we were half way done. I tried to make a fist and realized my finger was probably broken or badly sprained. I couldn’t move it at all – stiff as a board.
There were arms and feet everywhere. Within 500 meters, a guy kicked super hard and dislocated my ring finger on my right hand. I could feel it jammed and pulled it out as quickly as possible. The pain was awful at first, but after opening and closing my fist a dozen times, I simply resolved to continue without letting it get the better of me. As we came around the first large buoy, there was a sense of relief, we were half way done. I tried to make a fist and realized my finger was probably broken or badly sprained. I couldn’t move it at all – stiff as a board.
Then, without warning, the swells were huge – in Tempe Town
Lake. I stopped swimming and looked
around – everyone had stopped and all of our heads were just bobbing up and
down trying to sort through the nausea of the rather large swells. In an effort to make the best of it, I
decided to move through the swells and pop up to breathe when things leveled
off. It really helped me keep my nausea
at bay. But, I gather from many – the swells
made quite a few athletes sick. I knew
it would affect my time, but I did as a friend told me to do – just count the
buoys. There were 9 from the ½ way point
back to the steps out of the water. As I
approached buoy #6, I said to myself, “you’ve got this.” The swells had leveled out a bit, as the water
was far shallower at the west end of the lake.
The next thing I knew a guy was yelling at me to hoist
myself up on the first step and he would pull me the rest of the way out. As I stood up, I smiled – probably the
largest smile of my life. I had made it
out of the water. I knew I would be
fine.
I ripped off my goggles and cap and had a nice gal strip me
of my wetsuit, as I ran down to transition.
Within the first 25 feet, I saw Matt with Uncle Bruce and Christina. I smiled at them – and Matt yelled for me to
look up as I ran. I did – and there were
Mom and Aunt Lynne atop the bridge, yelling at me. I waved, gave everyone a thumbs up and headed
into transition.
As promised, Coach Diane was there in transition as a
volunteer. She had my gear bag and
started asking me what I needed and what I wanted. I remember telling her about my finger and as
she prepared my socks and cycling shoes she said, “is it going to be an issue
on the bike?” to which I said, “no.” “Good,
now, what else do you need?” It was
amazing. She told me I looked great and
did really well. She knew about the
waves and the swells and told me the winds were going to be really tough, but
to just work through it, as I always did.
It was only then that I realized the swells in the lake were because of
the winds, not the athletes. She gave me
a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said, “Hey, have fun out there!” And, I was
off.
As I left transition, I ran toward my bike – but it was
already off the rack and coming towards me.
The volunteers called out my number and there it was – at the
ready. I ran out of transition and
realized my front derailleur had been dinged and my chain was not correct. As I started to fix it, I could hear my name –
it was Lisa!!! She was there in her Team
Mer shirt watching me correct my chain and hop on my bike. I was thrilled to see her.
The course takes the athletes through Tempe, onto the
reservation and up the Beeline before making our way back to Tempe to do it 2
more times (for 112 miles). And, the
winds were incredible. Heading out to
the Beeline was ok, but the minute we turned northeast, we could feel winds of
20+ miles per hour. On my first lap up,
I saw Mirinda Carfrae on the bike course waiting to see her husband Tim O’Donnell
coming down. The Ironman World Champion,
Mirinda Carfrae, just standing on the sidelines of the Beeline in anticipation
of seeing athletes. It was an incredible
feeling.
Moments later, a Boardman bike came flying by, “on your left”
she said – and Meredith Kessler flew past me.
It must have been her 2nd time up – and here I was on my
first. Meredith does the IMAZ every year
– and this year she was coming off a terrible run in Kona, so she needed a good
race to feel like she was back in the game.
Seeing her distracted me for ten or so minutes and then I could no
longer even see her in the distance.
I climbed the Beeline like I owned it. It was my course – I had done it a dozen
times with Johnny in the weeks leading up to IMAZ. Even in the winds, I knew where it would be
really hard and where I could pedal fast to make up time.
Coming down, my bike clock registered 35+ mph for the first
4 miles. CRAZY! But it felt good to be able to recover from
the 11 miles of incline and the winds that were creeping up well over 25
mph. I flew back into Tempe without any
issues and as I saw the turn around to go back for my 2nd lap, I
could see a sea of Team Mer shirts in the distance. They were on both sides of the street – Matt,
mom, Lynne, Christina, Lisa, Bruce, Pam and more. Seeing them put me in the best mood. I gave them a thumbs up so they knew I was
fine and I went back for more.
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| The crew cheering -- on the bike course (a sea of blue) |
The second time up was less eventful – no recognizable pros
to speak of and no Mirinda. I talked
myself through the horrible winds and saw athletes walking bikes and stopping
to fix mechanical issues. The SAG
vehicles were amazing – it seemed like no one spent much time without
assistance with their bike or tube issues.
I give those volunteers a lot of credit!
About 2/3’s of the way up, I saw my new friend, Michael, on a tandem bike with his guide. Michael lost his eyesight at 21 years old in the first Desert Storm – he is an accomplished local lawyer who works for children in protective care. I gave him a pat on his back as I went around him and told him he looked great. We were all struggling in the winds, but there was Michael – super positive. I made a quick crack about the fact that he had no room to complain, since he was the only one who could legally draft. He chuckled and I didn’t see them after that.
The winds at my back were even stronger the 2nd
time down, and I, once again, made good use of the recovery time. I stopped at the Special Needs bag to read my
note from Matt. He was proud of me and
knew I would be fine. It was wonderful
to stop and take a moment to read. I
downed some Altoids and stuffed the extra tube and canister in my pocket before
thanking the incredible volunteers and getting back on my bike. That was at mile 66 – just over half way.
As I headed back into Tempe, again, I could see a number of
Team Mer shirts. To my surprise, Matt’s
riding buddy, Matt Saling, was there cheering me on, as well. I was honored and thrilled to see him with my
family and Matt.
I was dreading the 3rd climb back up with
Beeline, as the winds had only increased to 30+ mph. Every tent had fallen over and there was crap
flying across the lanes as we rode. My
back was starting to hurt a little, but I endured and carried on. I’d been on the bike for nearly 5 hours and
was getting tired. For 5+ hours I had
taken sips of my eLoad, my CarboPro, water and the occasional gel. It was like clockwork. I kept my body fueled and hydrated, so I knew
I would make it – but I also knew it would be slower than the first 2
trips. About a mile from the top of the
Beeline, I saw a familiar bike and rider – Ted.
Ted and I had trained a little together.
He is an MCC student and quite the endurance runner. This was his first shot at the IM, as
well. He looked strong – but the winds
were killing everyone. He rode next to
me for a minute in good spirits. “Hey, I
was gonna ask, what are you doing after this?
I was thinkin’ maybe we could go for a run or something.” I started to laugh just as course official
rode up next to us as if to card us for not passing in the allotted 15
seconds. I told Ted to drop back or pass
me, asap. He dropped back and I didn’t
see him again.
As I descended the Beeline one last time, my feet were in excruciating
pain. All the pushing up hill in the
winds had caused the balls of my feet to swell and throb. I tried to crinkle my toes in my shoes, but
nothing gave me relief. Naturally, I
began to get worried for the run and how my feet might recover.
I came into Tempe one last time and caught a glimpse of Anne
and Lyla at the end of the course. They
were a sight for sore eyes.
I hopped off my bike as a volunteer asked if I needed
anything on my bike. I said no, but then
made sure to stop my bike clock. Off she
went with my bike – never to be seen again.
I waddled into transition again, only to see Coach there
with a HUGE smile. “How do you feel?” “Great, but my feet hurt, I don’t know if I
can run.” She told me to eat, drink and
walk out the first mile if I needed to.
I was out of transition again with a hug and a kiss, “I am so proud of
you, Meredith!” she yelled. I also saw
my friend, Sue White, watching as I changed from bike gear to run gear. That also thrilled me!! She was there for my first marathon in 2007
or 8 – she even put my medal around my neck at the finish line. It really inspired me to make her proud – to let
her see me accomplish something far greater than 6-7 years prior.
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| Jacqui and Katelyn |
As I came out of transition eating my PB Snickers and
sipping water, I could see Jackie, Aaron and Katelyn at the run exit. I hugged Jackie and was immediately over
whatever pain I had. I was ready to
run. And, after turning around to head
into the run, I saw my entire family and another 6-7 friends: Mom, Lynne,
Bruce, Pam, Ashcraft, Christina, Brian, Anne and Lisa. It was exciting and overwhelming. There they were, nearly 9 hours after I started
– still cheering, still excited, still waiting and hoping. Within a ½ mile of them, I saw Phill and
Autumn – I high fived Phill, told them I loved them and kept moving.
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| Bruce, Pam, Christina, Mom, Lynne, Matt, Ashcraft, Anne, Lyla and Brian |
Seeing everyone really got me excited. I was running – running and running. As my friend Justin told me, “just run to the
water station and enjoy the water station, then run to the next one.” I did that for 8 or nine miles. As I came around to the North Side of the
lake, I saw Matt and several others waiting for me. I asked Matt to walk along side me for a
little bit – I had a little side stitch that I was hoping to walk through. And sure enough, after about ½ mile I kissed
Matt goodbye and ran and ran and ran. At
mile 11 or so, I realized I was still ok, as I ran past the water stop and saw
my good friend and fellow triathlete, Dolly.
Dolly and I met 18 months or so prior in a Masters Swim class. She’s been inspirational and encouraging ever
since. I told her I loved her and
carried on.
I had seen Matt a mile or so prior to Dolly and he told me
that he’d heard from Kris and Annique and that I would see them as soon as I
descended the hill. Tu-tu’s, colorful
headgear and screaming – you could not miss them. I hugged and high-fived and kept moving. They were a riot – and super excited to see
me!
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| Annique, Kris, Christina and Brian |
Matt rode his bike next to me for another few hundred feet
before I was off to head back to the south side of the lake. I knew I would see him again at the half way
mark.
Making my way through the enormous crowds building around
the finish line, I started hearing…”YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!”….”YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!” I had been on the course for over 12 hours
and knew I wouldn’t hear it for several more, but the great thing was that I
knew that I would hear it. I actually
felt fine.
As I made my way to the halfway point, I spotted two little
Team Mer shirts on the side of the road – Erica and Ashley!!!! Wow – they made it!!! They are both amazing athletes, as well.
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| Erica and Ashley |
A short while after, yelling at me in the distance, as I
focused on moving through the crowds, was Mike Callaway. I looked up and saw Hannah and Mya, as
well. I high fived Mike and thanked them
for coming out and continued to run.
Sure enough, within another 500 feet, I saw the whole gang
again – it seemed the sea of Team Mer was only getting bigger!! And, then I saw Sue and Dennis – who decided
to run with me for a decent stretch. I
couldn’t believe it (and frankly, neither could they) I was still running. I told Dennis it would be 4 miles before I
got back to “this spot” again, so he stopped running, told me I looked amazing
and off I went.
I almost skipped the second Special Needs bag, but
remembered I had a note from Matt, so I stopped again to read it. Sadly, I have no idea what it said – I think
I was more focused on the Altoids than the note, at that point.
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| More Team Mer sightings |
After leaving Dennis and Sue, I realized I was starting to
putter out – my nutrition was off. I had
been so excited for the first half of the run that I had failed to take
anything in the way of carbohydrate or electrolyte for probably 8 miles. And, so as it became dark, my side started to
writhe in pain. I got to the water stop
and tried to put something in my system – nothing was taking. I could only get a little water down. Fortunately, by mile 15, they started serving
warm chicken soup – so my stomach and palate would allow for something with
salt and calories. But the cramp
remained. Every time I would start to
run, the cramp worsened. So, I resolved
to walk for a bit.
Immediately, I saw Loretta and Dan – I saw them briefly as I was running a couple miles earlier, but now I was able to chat for a minute. Dan kept telling me how great I looked. He seemed floored. I asked Loretta what I could do about the cramping (pointing at my right kidney area) and she said “water, hydrate!” Ashcraft and Lisa seemed to come out of nowhere and the 5 of us walked together for a bit. I hadn’t seen Ashcraft since the first moments of the run, so I gave him a hard time – only to find out he’d seen me 2x earlier, I was just focused on the other Team Mer members.
Immediately, I saw Loretta and Dan – I saw them briefly as I was running a couple miles earlier, but now I was able to chat for a minute. Dan kept telling me how great I looked. He seemed floored. I asked Loretta what I could do about the cramping (pointing at my right kidney area) and she said “water, hydrate!” Ashcraft and Lisa seemed to come out of nowhere and the 5 of us walked together for a bit. I hadn’t seen Ashcraft since the first moments of the run, so I gave him a hard time – only to find out he’d seen me 2x earlier, I was just focused on the other Team Mer members.
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| Still moving! |
I probably walked the majority of the next 7 miles – and was
beginning to worry about the horrible cramp.
It was actually becoming hard to walk briskly, as well. The pain was awful. I admit, though, I met some awesome people on
my walk – a young, 30 year old woman who almost did not make the bike cut off,
so she’d really pushed at the beginning of the run to ensure a solid
finish. Then, a 65 year old woman who
was a marathon runner. She confessed
that she’d never walked any race – this would be a first. We laughed about how different this whole
thing was from a marathon. And, we
forgave ourselves for walking. She was
really starting to walk slow, though, so I left her around mile 22, where I met
Ron. Ron was probably in his mid-50’s
and told me all about his 18 year old daughter, Meredith. He was also from St. Louis – O’Fallon, Missouri. We talked baseball (he grew up Chicago – so naturally,
he hates the Cards); we talked about life in The Lou and became good
friends.
As I came up to mile 23, I knew I could run again, so I started to do so. Shortly after I saw Matt and Ashcraft on their bikes. They were freezing! I had become so cold at mile 19 (from walking) that I actually had Matt’s jacket. Poor guy. Even though I was running, I wasn’t willing to give it up, yet. They both followed me for half a mile until I saw Kris and Annique again – and then Anne and Amy!!! These people were STILL out there. I don’t know who had the tougher day!
As I came up to mile 23, I knew I could run again, so I started to do so. Shortly after I saw Matt and Ashcraft on their bikes. They were freezing! I had become so cold at mile 19 (from walking) that I actually had Matt’s jacket. Poor guy. Even though I was running, I wasn’t willing to give it up, yet. They both followed me for half a mile until I saw Kris and Annique again – and then Anne and Amy!!! These people were STILL out there. I don’t know who had the tougher day!
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| Anne and Me (with Matt's jacket) |
I was becoming a little tired. I told some guy that it was way past my
bedtime and I needed to hustle home. At
mile 24, I told another volunteer that I was sure 130.6 was ample – and by
24.5, Ron caught back up to me and we walked another mile together. By mile 25.5, I started to become super
emotional. Ron did too. I explained that Matt really wanted me to be
in the finishers chute with no one around – that it would be my moment. Ron agreed.
He gave me a quick hug and said, “You got this, Meredith!” And, I ran. I ran and I ran. I started taking off Matt’s jacket so my bib would be visible and I could hear my name called. Just prior to hitting the chute, I could hear the screaming people and could see the blinding lights. Anne yelled, “Mer, give me the jacket,” as she ripped it off me and I entered the chute.
He gave me a quick hug and said, “You got this, Meredith!” And, I ran. I ran and I ran. I started taking off Matt’s jacket so my bib would be visible and I could hear my name called. Just prior to hitting the chute, I could hear the screaming people and could see the blinding lights. Anne yelled, “Mer, give me the jacket,” as she ripped it off me and I entered the chute.
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| Entering the finishers chute |
It was my moment. I had done it. I could see the finish line and could hear Mike Reilly telling everyone I was going to be an Ironman. The noise was deafening, but it seemed completely quiet to me. A journey I had started a year prior was coming to the last few steps – and all those people were still out there.
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| The money shot |
As I stepped across the finish line, I fell into the arms of
my training buddy and good friend, Cassie.
I could hear Ashcraft yelling my name, but it was too chaotic to find
him. Cassie wrapped me in a mylar
blanket and pointed me to the left where Matt and all of Team Mer was standing
and cheering. Then Esther, my great friend
and training buddy put my Finishers Medal around my neck. “I am so proud of you, Meredith. I love you, girl!” It was overwhelming. Cassie helped me navigate the finishers area
and find my family. I was so lucky. Cassie and I had met in May at her first
International length Triathlon – our bikes were next to each other in
transition – and we became immediate friends and training partners. She – a better swimmer; I – a better runner;
and pretty equal on the bike – we leaned on each other for support for
months.
I had done it. I WAS/AM AN IRONMAN! All the training and I had done it. My coach stood in the distance as my family and friends squealed and congratulated me. I turned to everyone and said, “there she is everyone, there is my Coach. I wouldn’t be standing here without her." And, then she vanished. She had done her work and all she had left was to go home and sleep.
I know this was long and probably horribly boring, but I
never want to forget it. The people on
the course that day – my family, my friends, my coach – made it the most
memorable day of my life. It never felt
hard or impossible. I never had to dig
deep to find the strength to finish – I spent those last 6 hours with the
people who mean the most to me in the world:
My mom, my boyfriend (Matt), my aunts (Lynne and Pam) and uncle Bruce, my
BFF-Anne (and Lyla), Ashcraft, Christina, Lisa, Jackie, Aaron (and Katelyn), Loretta,
Dan, Amy, Mike, Hannah (and Mya), Dennis, Phill, Autumn, Sue, Kris, Annique, Brian,
Erica, Ashley, Esther, Dolly, Cassie and Coach-Diane. We did
this together – and I cannot express enough gratitude. I love you all.
I am an IRONMAN!
(And, a couple of bonus pics!!!)
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| Friday before the race -- in the IM Village waiting for the athlete briefing. |
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| Thanksgiving Dinner with the family - the evening after IMAZ! |
