So, my cousin Jackie complains that I don’t blog enough – well…at all. This is for her – and anyone else remotely interested in my passion for running and life.
Here it is exactly 2 weeks from my 37th birthday and it’s fair to say – I don’t feel 37. Since August, I have been training harder and longer for the Phoenix Marathon (in January), again. I remain committed to completing it in under 4:30. I know the answer is endurance – I tend to crap out somewhere between mile 17-20 and then simply want to slow to nearly a walk. The 2010 Marathon will be different – I am convinced I can do it at 37, even if I was unable at 35 and 36.
At 37, however, it feels much more important to meet my goal. I have endured a lot, this year. I spent the beginning of 2009 unemployed and scared – scared that I would never find the job I wanted. I interviewed tirelessly for positions I was willing to take – worrying as I left each interview that this was it; this was to be my future. However, amidst the weirdness of interviews came a position within Student Life and Leadership at Mesa Community College – and regardless of the pay, I knew I needed to get THAT position. My 6 month anniversary – and the end of my probationary period with the district – comes THIS week. I am grateful for the opportunity. I absolutely adore the work and the people with whom I work!
Additionally, in conjunction with unemployment and finding new work came divorce. I spent the better part of 2009 feeling guilty and ashamed. I never wanted to be one of them – the 50 percent who married and couldn’t stick with it. It wasn’t for a lack of trying – but the love was gone and today I am divorced. I am no longer ashamed and guilty – rather free and excited about my future. I thank those who were supportive and understanding. Sadly, some of my friends passed judgment without entertaining that they may not know the whole story. I am glad to say that I have picked an amazing group of friends (and family) – and I should probably spend an entire blog thanking each of them. Fortunately, I am fairly certain they know who they are.
As I ran this morning, I thought about this blog. I thought about how, without running, I would be in a very different psychological place. For those of you who don’t run – or who tell me you can’t run – running saved my life. When I was scared of never finding another job that I loved as much as my work at UAT, running motivated me to get up early every morning and think through interview questions, or a new sentence in a cover letter. When I was upset by the loss of “another” friendship, running showed me that I can do things that others cannot – and I should keep it at the forefront to prove to myself that anything is possible, even if alone. Running isn’t just about putting one foot in front of the other – it’s about accomplishing something and committing to the future. It’s about creating goals and seeing them to the finish (line). One needn’t go 26.2 miles to have accomplished their goals – sometimes it’s a 5K or their first mile without stopping. But, regardless of the distance – running makes you realize that you CAN do just about anything – no matter how painful and difficult.
In 2009 I endured unemployment and divorce – and I am hopeful for my future, thanks to running.
I’ll leave you with this final little story… this morning, as I ran through downtown Tempe and the ASU campus at 630am, I passed several young people still in Halloween costumes from the night before. I cackled at most of them as they made their ways to their apartments, dorms or the local breakfast joint. But, the best moment came just as I finished my 4th mile. Two guys, CLEARLY recovering from the evening’s festivities saw me and one of them stuck his hand out as I ran passed him. I stuck my hand out, somewhat incredulously, and he gave me a high-five yelling as I passed, “you’re my inspiration.” I admit that I laughed and continued on my journey. But, for the remainder of my 10K run, I smiled. He actually made my day. At 6:30am, I was someone’s inspiration – if only for a moment. It was a little cheesy – but I didn’t want to be anywhere else, doing anything else at that moment. I hope I see him again, one of these days… in running shoes.
(I promise to blog more, as I get closer to the marathon. Thanks Jackie – and Nugget – for being my inspiration. I love you.)
No comments:
Post a Comment