Downs and Ups!

Matt will tell you – I didn’t want to blog, today.  “But, you have to!” He told me as he got into his car and sped away from South Mountain. 

Yesterday was a moment of defeat, a marathon runner’s worst nightmare.  I got up, got ready and headed into the darkness for my last long run of the training season.  After this weekend – its taper city.  I had 20-21 planned and was eager to see if my times from all of the weeks prior would hold true. 

At mile 9, I glanced at my watch: 1:28:40 – “yep, I’m still holding on,” I thought.  At mile 13: 2:08 – still solidly under a 10 minute mile with all of the lights; and it seemed like I’d hit every single light on this run.  At mile 16 I was in uncharted territory, running on uneven gravel with almost no room for me and the oncoming traffic.  It was discouraging for sure – and I knew it might cost me some time.  By mile 17, I was bored and on the canal running north knowing I only had a wee bit to go.  But, I was just about out of water and started to really stress about it.  The last 3 miles sans water could simply ruin everything.  I searched for a park area, hoping for a fountain as I ran, but nothing.  Finally, I was off the canal and headed back west toward Anne’s house when my watch beeped 18 miles.  For the first time in a long time, I was becoming pretty miserable – my mind was telling me to quit, my heart was no longer into the run and my water was gone.  And then it happened, at 18.9 miles, my Achilles/soleus on my right leg pinged HUGE pain – in a matter of seconds.  And, I panicked.  I stopped running and decided that I was just over a mile from Anne’s and should NOT push it any further.  I simply have to be able to complete the Philly Marathon in 3 weeks and that one mile could have been the difference between being able to – and not. 

Depressed, I texted my mom, Matt and Anne.  I took no post-run-smiling-shot and tearfully walked my way back to Anne’s house where Anne stood waiting for me with Miss Lyla in her arms.  As I approached, Lyla stretched out her arms and we embraced.  It was going to be ok – it had to be. 

As I stood in Anne’s frigid pool, John, Sean, Lyla and Anne chatted with me about “other” things, in an effort to keep my mind off the worry of my right calf/Achilles.  Sean is always fascinated that I will stand in the ice cold water with my clothes on.  My body temperature was so high that I found myself heating up the small section of the pool really quickly – which just meant I needed to move around to get the benefit of the “icing”.  I was depressed…and worried. 

Shortly thereafter, Loretta, Anne and I met for a girls brunch.  Each year, we watch the IronMan World Championships in Kona, together.  There is nothing quite like watching the hardest athletic feat in the world while sipping mimosas with two of my favorite people.  This year’s footage was good, but nowhere near as good and emotional as last year’s.  This year’s was mostly about the elite athletes – with a smattering of non-pro-stories.  We enjoyed it, as always, and cried at the end – its so impressive and so amazing, one cannot help but get choked up seeing all of those athletes line up with hopes of finishing by midnight. 

Drink #1 post-run at BLD for Brunch

Matt and I emailed a few times that morning – mostly in an attempt to help me refocus and stop dwelling on the fear.  In one of our exchanges he said “I will ride (tomorrow) regardless, you can decide up to the last minute whether you will or not.”  “Tomorrow” (which is now today) is Silent Sunday – a day of the month I look forward to more than just about any other.  I wrote back, “I need tomorrow’s ride more than you.”

So at 6am this morning, we met in the darkness – heading out to the summit.  I apologized for my lingering foul mood and explained that I brought my music so we could simply meet at the top, if necessary. 

3 miles into the ride, I passed my friend, Kris, on foot – finishing her 6-7 mile run.  It was definitely impressive to see she had attempted nearly a mile of the summit road.  It was good that she shouted my name, as I was unsure (in the darkness) if it was even her.

Matt remained in front of me for a HUGE chunk of the ride to the Summit.  It’s 7+ miles up and I was seriously worried he would get bored waiting for me when I finally got there.  I read his blog – I know what he is capable of.  However, I also know he almost threw up on our Friday ride as he pushed uber hard on one of the hills in Ahwatukee.  So, I thought I might have a chance of not losing him. 

The road was quiet, save a few runners here and there.  And, Matt remained 1/10^th of a mile in front of me for about 4 miles.  And, then we hit one of the steeper hills, and I gained a little.  Another steep section, and I gained a little more.  The moment I started to smell his deodorant (I know…sounds creepy, but honestly, when you work that hard all of your senses are heightened – so I appreciate that he wears good smelling deodorant – and that he thinks to apply it before we ride), I knew I might be able to ride with him for a bit. 

I pulled up next to him at the next steep section and smiled.  He said, “I am working HARD, Mer.”  Unsure what to say, because I felt really strong/good, I looked at the runner in front of us and said, “So is she!”  It was then that all of the cards were stacked.  I could hear Matt breathing and all I could think was, “will he get mad if I pass him?  Should I stay right here next to him?”  But, in the last mile of the ride to the top, the steepest section can kill anyone’s will to ride/live.  And, I pulled ahead – I wanted it over.  I glanced over my shoulder once and saw him only a few bike lengths back, but I knew I had this one. 

I hit the Summit first.  I hate to have a celebration moment knowing how hard it is to do.  But, moving ahead of Matt on the bike at any point when we ride is FREAKIN’ HARD!  He is such a strong rider.  But, this was my morning.  As we circled at the top, we smiled as we caught our respective breaths.  And, I rubbed salt in the wound by saying, “I can’t believe I was able to do that after running 19 miles, yesterday.”  Matt just laughed and said something like, “Oh, thanks for reminding me of that, as well!”  I was proud and I know Matt was proud, even if beating himself up a little bit at the same time. 

Proud moment at the top!

Both of us -- at the Summit

Matt turned his bike around and started to fly down the mountain.  Little-Miss-Safety-Girl simply cannot take the turns at those speeds – and sadly, I may never be able to.  I could see him gaining greater and greater distance on the descent.  I have no idea how long he was waiting at the bottom for me, but as I approached the base of the mountain, without a word, he turned and headed to San Juan Road – another tough 6 mile ride. 

I knew the defeat at the top was something he was considering as I followed him down San Juan.  Just before we hit the turn around, I caught up to him and he admitted that he had been “chicked” by me on the Summit.  So, yes – Matt and I are very similarly competitive and I knew exactly where his brain was at that moment.  (Matt was thinking…NEVER AGAIN and CERTAINLY NOT FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS RIDE.) 

There was no rest or words at the top/turn around of San Juan – Matt just turned around and went down and I followed.  I struggled to keep up with him for the entirety of the 3+ mile ride back to the Summit/San Juan split.  He took over that ride and I didn’t have any way to catch up with him.  Trust me when I tell you I tried – but no matter how much my legs were giving, his legs were giving just that much more.  I wasn’t far behind, but I was far enough that it was his moment and not mine. 

We sailed to the parking lot together, laughing about how competitive we are.  I took the first leg and he the second.  It was an unbelievable morning. 

As we approached our cars, I was grinning from ear to ear.  “I needed that!” I told Matt.  He just smiled and we put our gear in our respective cars.  Seemed almost like redemption from the failed run/Achilles. 

In the parking lot -- feeling super accomplished (both of us)!

Its really so nice that I have friends like Matt who really really “get” me.  Could be a pretty boring existence without them!