From Failure to Success!

I know its been a couple of weeks since my last installation and I apologize.  In truth, I failed on my long, 18 mile run (in Irvine) over the Labor Day weekend – and my disappointment prevented me from facing reality and blogging about it.  I know failures are perfectly acceptable and an opportunity to reflect and learn, but in the midst of marathon training, a failure means only one thing – you are now a week behind in your training.

My friend, Justin and I went out for the 18 mile run at 630am in 61 degree weather.  Justin had completed the Ironman in California a few weeks prior, so I figured 18 miles at a 10:20 pace was something he could easily handle.  I allowed Justin to plan our route (two 9 mile loops) and my friend, Erin (who also happens to be Justin’s girlfriend) was our water/Gu Sherpa – meeting us at miles 7 and 13. 

Little did I know just HOW hilly/mountainous Irvine, California was.  Right out of the apartment complex, we headed uphill.  But, within a ½ mile we were headed down, comfortably.  But, again, for another mile or so we took on one of the largest hills I have faced in all of my years of training – not a good sign for me at mile 2 of 18.  By mile 6.5, I asked to rest with a short walk, and when we reached Erin at mile 7, I knew 18 was going to be ginormous struggle.  We had been travelling uphill for miles and I don’t think my brain or abdominals were prepared – my heartrate had been elevated for two long and by mile 9 I was walking more than running.  At mile 10, I confessed to Justin that I was feeling unwell (literally was trying not to get sick in public).  By the time we saw Erin again at mile 13.5, I was struggling through 2-2’s (2 minutes of walking, 2 minutes of running) – and I quit.  I was really upset and really unwell.  Only once in my life have I ever tossed my cookies from a run – but within minutes of arriving back at their apartment, I got terribly ill and just laid on their bathroom floor for 10 minutes. 

Humiliated and miserable, Justin and Erin were great – taking me all around Irvine and the surrounding communities to keep my mind off my failed run.  They are both athletes, so I am sure they were very well aware of the mental destruction occurring between my two ears.  On Monday of the 3-day weekend, Justin and I attempted ½ of that horrible run, again – and I walked a bit between miles 7-9, but we made it and I felt a little better about my training. 

Its runs like that one that bring on a lot of self-doubt.  I had to confess to Ron that I failed – Ron is also training for the STL Marathon.  He, of course, had success the week prior on his 18 mile run – so I was nervous about confessing my failures.  When he finally popped into my office later in the week – he made the following statement, “Meredith – I am running this marathon with you.  If you walk, I walk – we’re doing this together.”  I love the running community – it inspires me to do more, better!

So, after a VERY taxing and exhausting weekend away with the students (170 of them), I headed out for my 20 mile run in Phoenix on Monday (yesterday) morning.  Ron told me to do loops near my house, so I would be able to stage water and Gu and not worry about running out of anything.  So – I had planned four 5-mile loops in the Ahwatukee foothills.  Some up, some down – but nothing like Irvine. 

At mile ten, I hit the stoplight near my house and waited with another runner.  “How far are you going, today?” I asked him.  “8 miles, what about you?”  I told him I was ½ way through my 20 mile run and he was all kinds of enthusiastic.  “What are you training for?” he asked.  “St Louis.”  I responded.  “Oh, me too!  I am from the area.”  We chatted for another few moments about our home town and what a small world it was…and then he was off to complete his 8-miles, and I my 20. 

I continued through to mile 15 and took more water and GU and was out of water.  I was still really thirsty, so I grabbed my empty bottle, brought it to the gas station on the corner and filled it with water.  I carried it on my run for 2 miles, before abandoning it and then finished fairly strong.  I did it – 20 miles!  I thought about Ron on my run – how I did not want to let him down.  I want us to be proud of our efforts in St. Louis, despite the difficult training in the Arizona summer heat.  His statement rang in my ears for a lot of the run – I knew I needed to fix the disaster of the week prior so Ron would know I can finish 26.2 miles in another 6 weeks.  I think we are back on track!

This morning, I sit on my couch – sore as hell.  However, I am excited to continue my training – the first 20 is the hardest and now its over.  Bring it!